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update sorry its late
Jun. 30th, 2007 | 08:41 pm
mood: 
chipper
Sorry for not being updateing i dont go online when im at my mums but its been good just doing my work and watching movies with her. spent some time at my dads too hes been really nice, mum and dad never suited each other but theyre great on their own. I thought i may as well let you know whats going on i know most of you dont even have livejourna but i linked this so you should be able to read it and if you cant see the pictures let me know. I dnt have any from the wedding but i have a couple in scrapbook ill put them on this post, theyre of my hair colours now its blonde which probably is true for me lol.
Things were quiet at home nice in a way but i missed the atmospere from uni at least i got my work done without hassle cept from the dogs but i cnt stay mad at them. talked to a few people on the phone mosty beth she really likes to talk lots.
Im at the mill now which is why im finally online im here till monday which a certain someone found out about. Rich now knows we are over cos of his stunt the other night. He misunderstood something and hit jae but jae shrugged it off and hit him back putting him down which was suprising and a bit scary. Jae didnt even get violent he punched rich back like a lump of meat. Scary cos jae can be really dangerous if he lost his cool.. i kno hes not a big guy but he can do so much damage if he wanted. I wanted to tell him that i was sorry for being so difficult on him at the mill i know he went out of his way to do all he could for me and then some. I wanted to tell him that but i just started crying like a fool i don't think he cared or acted like he didnt care of what i had to say which was probably him trying to make me feel better. thats just like him. Im glad hes not my boyfriend id feel so guilty feeling i didnt deserve him. rich on the other hand wanted to ge t back with me but i told him i dont want to go back to how it was and thats what was gonna happen. i move out of here monday and it ends a chapter of my life i want to thank jae but i dont know how to say it, beth is gonna get one too for being like a sister to me. I wish i could just talk to jae without seizing up now i need to tell him about other stuff he should know about cos hes got an admirer a girl on one of the textile courses. he knows her indirectly but he needs to do something before she makes a move cos knowing him he'll leave her devastated without meaning to and feel bad himself. I want to tell him cos its what friends do yeah? I still have a crush on him, ive met loads of girls who know him and they all love him too. But im doing whats best for us and thats a friendship... it hurts when hes so nice to me becuase if i dream a little i can pretend he said that like he was my boyfriend. Hes like that with everyone though even people hes just met i iwsh i knew how i can be undconditionally nice to everyone. I also saw the poems he wrote for angel and he told me how he made them into little cards and thats just amazing i want to know how they look. I need someone with as much passion as him, i need lots of friends with that kind of passion..
Mum is coming up tommorow to see what its like up here and we go back on monday, im glad shes coming on a sunday that way she wont take me out to dinner or anything silly for me. I know she doesnt have much time for me at home cos of her work but she does enough. probably might end up going to cinema and watching somethin nobody else wants to watch lol. So then its back home and taking it easy for a while i think mum is too easy on me, shes the manager of a private nursery so doesnt care if i dont work. She needs to discipline me more but not like that lol. i may just sit and read all day or paint, i really love to paint so thats something we can look into. Or might take a week off and go to paris for the musuems on my own. I already know which ones to see or i can talk to jae again for his advice. I'll ask beth if she wants to coe with me im sure shes gonna say yeah as a double holiday is irrestible.
I may update again before i go so stay tuned
-Xandra
blonde
red hair that was fun
Things were quiet at home nice in a way but i missed the atmospere from uni at least i got my work done without hassle cept from the dogs but i cnt stay mad at them. talked to a few people on the phone mosty beth she really likes to talk lots.
Im at the mill now which is why im finally online im here till monday which a certain someone found out about. Rich now knows we are over cos of his stunt the other night. He misunderstood something and hit jae but jae shrugged it off and hit him back putting him down which was suprising and a bit scary. Jae didnt even get violent he punched rich back like a lump of meat. Scary cos jae can be really dangerous if he lost his cool.. i kno hes not a big guy but he can do so much damage if he wanted. I wanted to tell him that i was sorry for being so difficult on him at the mill i know he went out of his way to do all he could for me and then some. I wanted to tell him that but i just started crying like a fool i don't think he cared or acted like he didnt care of what i had to say which was probably him trying to make me feel better. thats just like him. Im glad hes not my boyfriend id feel so guilty feeling i didnt deserve him. rich on the other hand wanted to ge t back with me but i told him i dont want to go back to how it was and thats what was gonna happen. i move out of here monday and it ends a chapter of my life i want to thank jae but i dont know how to say it, beth is gonna get one too for being like a sister to me. I wish i could just talk to jae without seizing up now i need to tell him about other stuff he should know about cos hes got an admirer a girl on one of the textile courses. he knows her indirectly but he needs to do something before she makes a move cos knowing him he'll leave her devastated without meaning to and feel bad himself. I want to tell him cos its what friends do yeah? I still have a crush on him, ive met loads of girls who know him and they all love him too. But im doing whats best for us and thats a friendship... it hurts when hes so nice to me becuase if i dream a little i can pretend he said that like he was my boyfriend. Hes like that with everyone though even people hes just met i iwsh i knew how i can be undconditionally nice to everyone. I also saw the poems he wrote for angel and he told me how he made them into little cards and thats just amazing i want to know how they look. I need someone with as much passion as him, i need lots of friends with that kind of passion..
Mum is coming up tommorow to see what its like up here and we go back on monday, im glad shes coming on a sunday that way she wont take me out to dinner or anything silly for me. I know she doesnt have much time for me at home cos of her work but she does enough. probably might end up going to cinema and watching somethin nobody else wants to watch lol. So then its back home and taking it easy for a while i think mum is too easy on me, shes the manager of a private nursery so doesnt care if i dont work. She needs to discipline me more but not like that lol. i may just sit and read all day or paint, i really love to paint so thats something we can look into. Or might take a week off and go to paris for the musuems on my own. I already know which ones to see or i can talk to jae again for his advice. I'll ask beth if she wants to coe with me im sure shes gonna say yeah as a double holiday is irrestible.
I may update again before i go so stay tuned
-Xandra
blonde
red hair that was fun